This is one of the hardest topics I have written about.
This is one of the hardest topics I have written about. There are two reasons for this: Number one – it means me being real with myself, and number two – I don’t know how people will respond. I don’t want anyone to misunderstand me.
My purpose is to help others process their racism.
The main purpose for posting this on a public forum is to help others process their own racism. Whether the racist thoughts you have are cultural or just plain sinful. I believe that being real and honest about the prejudices we have against people of a different color to us, is the first step towards healing and growth – and we all want to be healed and grow right? Anyone who says they don’t want to grow or be healed is suffering from pride. We want to be humble, right? Humble enough to admit our own weaknesses. I hope you find my honesty empowering and that you process your own racism thoughts.
My racist thoughts from childhood.
I was born a white South African – an African of European descent. If you know anything about the history of Africa, you would know that the Dutch and British colonized South Africa a few hundred years ago. Due to the enlightenment (and some other factors – such as greed) many Europeans thought that it was their duty to go to the whole world and enlighten the ignorant in the ways of, “civilization.” It is because of this (and other factors) that all white South Africans grow up with bucket load of baggage past down to us from our parents who received it from their parents and so on. I received baggage, baggage that have only started to realize of late. I was born to parents who grew up under the wickedly evil apartheid government that, through many forms, indoctrinated them (and millions of other people) to believe that every race/cultural group (or however we define it these days) are different. You get my point, right? South Africans were taught to see white people, black people, colored people, Indian people (and so on) as different. Since my parents were indoctrinated with this lie – I was naturally influenced by this ideas that people of different color are different, and in some case – inferior or superior.
We were taught to treat people differently. Many white people believed and still believe that they are superior to other cultures. It was into this environment that I was born. I remember from a young age meeting and getting to know people of color. However I do remember that they were, more often then not, treated different. I remember hearing words come from mouths of various family members. Words that expressed the hatred that many white people had (and have) towards people who are different to them. It is sad even thinking back at this and knowing that it continues.
This rubbed off on me and along with my own corrupted nature was a breading ground for many racist thoughts. I have had many racist thoughts throughout my short life. I cannot even count there have been so many – this makes me weep. This should not be the reality. I feel ashamed to even admit that I have had many racist thoughts – but I must be honest with myself for your sake and mine. I am deeply sorry to God and to you for these kinds of thoughts (and many more I am not going to mention). I wish things were different.
The change that took place was a head and heart change.
Thank fully, a change took place and the change that took place was a head and heart change. I am not longer the same person I was who had many racist thoughts flow through my head every month. I am glad that a change has taken place and that I now embrace and love people who are different to me – people of a different color. I am so happy that I can call Koreans my friends, Xhosa people my friends, Zulu people my friends, African Americans my friends, and so on. How did this change happen? ONE – friendships. I made friends with people who are different to me and over the friendship my thoughts changed. TWO – prayer. I went for some prayer with some Christian friends who prayed into this and God saved me from these disgusting thoughts.
Now it is your turn.