This is what my Mother wrote to me:

We were newly married when I fell pregnant and felt very excited about the prospect of having a baby. I felt it was too good to be true. Then came the disappointment. It happened in the first trimester around 9-10 weeks, when I started bleeding heavily.  I was taken to hospital, and given a D&C (a scrape of the cervix).  I can’t even remember whether I stayed in overnight, but the whole thing was very quick, and I had to just get on with life as if nothing had happened. At the time I felt that because it was “spontaneous” and was in God’s hands. There may have been an abnormality in the baby (this is how I reconciled myself to accept it).

With hindsight, I wish someone had counselled me because it was brushed off so quickly and nothing much was said. Now, when I see pictures of a 9-10 week fetus, I am amazed at what they look like.  So “baby like.” I think one can bottle up emotions and “be strong,” when what we should be doing is mourning the loss. Some call it a “Pregnancy” or “Fetus”  I like to think of it as a baby.  I believe that a person’s spirit is there from conception, so I know that Stephanie is with God now. Years later it was a good thing when you children named the baby Stephanie.  I liked that and I think every mother should give the baby a name, even if they don’t know the sex.

How did it affect me?  I felt very sad at the loss, but reconciled myself with it because I knew God was in control of my life.  I think God has healed  emotional scars I may have had. Thank you for allowing me to put down my thoughts on this; no-one has ever asked how I felt and I think expressing our feelings brings healing. I do not understand why it had to happen, but know that God’s ways are not our ways.  We serve a Mighty God who’s ways we cannot fathom.

If you are thinking of having an abortion?

Don’t do it, you will be scarred for life and [may] never be able to forgive yourself, just take a look at an 8 week fetus.  How can you say abortion is not taking a life?